Dear, Christian Bale…

Alright, alright, I know I’m 3 days late. I forgot to pay my internet bill so the connection was cut out. But hey, it’s better late than never, right?

So…

HAPPY 36th BIRTHDAY CHRISTIAN BALE!

Wishing you many successful years to come, both on your career and your personal life.

Love ya, handsome!

*and if you’re still interested on having a second wife you can give me a call anytime! LMAO!!*

A Prayer

I asked for Strength …
And God gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom …
And God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity …
And God gave me Brains to work.
I asked for Courage …
And God gave me Dangers to overcome.
I asked for Love …
And God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors …
And God gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing that I wanted.
I received everything that I needed.
And that proved …
My prayer has been answered.

*Found this poem on the last page of Dr Oktavianus’ Tropical Infection handout when I was studying for my final exam. Thanks, Doc!*

Inspirational Quote

” My body is just a shell that holds my soul. My soul inside is who I really am.”

New Year Resolutions?

No. I don’t do resolutions. That’s cliche. Hahahah!! x)

Hey, Christian. Now I REALLY do know how you feel!

“She (Sibi Blazic) is the only person that I had ever been able to spend all day with. Before I just couldn’t. It didn’t matter who they were, at some point I just wanted to head off and be by myself for a bit, do something different, whatever.”  — Christian Bale.

The Witch And The Smeagol (Part 4)

September 2009

Seiring waktu, gw mulai yakin kalo apa yang terjadi antara gw dan ‘Si Rocker’ itu memang cuma fling. Susah emang buat ngeyakinin diri sendiri, bahkan beberapa kali gw sempet denial. Tapi pas suatu malem gw tukar pikiran sama Esther, Charlie, dan Adi, one thing that Adi said was like a wake up call for me. Intinya dia bilang  “Terserah sekarang mau lo gimana, tapi jangan bohongin perasaan lo, and please be realistic.”

Dang.

And that’s it. No more denial. Mulai mikir pake logika. Problem solved.

–

Sementara gw coba untuk “menuntaskan masalah”, gw sama Adi jadi makin deket.

Deket?

Deket apa “deket”?

Gw sendiri ga yakin. I mean, I’m barely knew him. Ketemu aja belom pernah. Interaksi yang kita buat cuman dari YM, SMS, dan telfon. Gw gak tau apakah dia mandang gw cuman sebagai temen biasa atau temen yang gak  biasa. Gw gak tau apakah dia memperlakukan temen2 cwnya yang laen kaya gini juga. Sumpah gw gak tau apa2. But I like him, and I want to find out more.

Tapi gw mau ngomongin ini semua ke siapa?

Ke Charlie atau Ajeng? Gak mungkin. Yang ada gw diketawain gila2an dikira cewe ge er.

Ke Esther? Ya, gw ngomongin masalah ini ke dia, dan jawabannya “Terserah elo, jangan nanya ke gw gimana, gw TAU orangnya aja engga. Tapi tolong, kalo elo mau ngedeketin dia, cari tau bener2 dia itu gimana, pastiin perasaan dia ke elo gimana. Jangan sampe nanti elo cuman dimaenin doang sama dia. Kalo sampe kaya gitu, gak akan gw restuin.”

Ke orangnya langsung? Hahahaha jangan gila dong. I might be crazy but I’m not dumb.

Well, kita sempet sih saling mancing2 tentang perasaan masing2. Dan dua2nya gak pernah ada yang mau bluntly tell how they really feel. Obrolan kita isinya bener2 isinya jokes, jokes, dan jokes.

Dan yang bikin gw amazed, we truly shared the same sense of humor. And I mean WE TRULY SHARED THE SAME SENSE OF HUMOR.

I told him my funny, lame, polite, rude, absurd, and even porn jokes, while waited until he finally gave up and said “OMG you’re such a crazy b*tch! Stay away from me!” and walk away from my life. But he doesn’t. Malahan dia bisa ngebales jokes gw se-KACAU apapun dengan cara yang sama ‘gilanya’.

Nemu orang yang bisa ngebales jokes gw dengan setimpal nyaris gak mungkin. But he can do it. Seriously.

–

Seiring waktu, kita berdua jadi “tambah deket”. He knew that I like him and I knew that he like me. Bahkan dia nanya ke gw “Kenapa kita gak jadian aja? Kita cocok. Kita sama2 suka.”

But I wanted to wait. Gara2 kejadian terakhir gw masih trauma sama yang instan2. I just don’t want to get hurt again. Toh gw dan dia belom pernah ketemuan, mana bisa yakin kalo kita emang cocok?

So, rencananya; ketemuan dulu, liat beneran cocok apa engga, kalo cocok terusin pdkt terus (sukur2) jadian, kalo engga ya temenan aja. Yak, cara konvensional emang paling aman.

–

Until one day, he got sick, and I realised that I do really care about this man.

Lupakan cara konvensional diatas. Gak pernah ada kata pdkt atau jadian antara gw dan dia. We just told eachother how we really feel, and that’s all it takes.

Mungkin kami nekat karena memutuskan untuk pacaran before we even met. Tapi gak tau, intuisi kami bilang “go for it”. So there we are.

–

Beberapa hari kemudian kita baru ketemuan. Mungkin harusnya kencan pertama kita itu garing gila (heloooo, lo berdua ngalamin proses penjajakan tanpa pernah ketemu muka??? what do you expect?!), but our first date was totally far from boring!

Gatau ya, apa mungkin karena kita berdua udah mutusin pacaran sebelum first date, jadi kita enjoy banget pas pertama kali jalan berdua. Gak ada deh yang namanya jaim2an atau apa. Yang ada sepanjang malem kita malah ketawa2 bikin jokes2 bego, curhat2an, kentut2an, sendawa2an, tabok2an, dan toyor2an (iya, gw serius).

Oke, ada sih awkward moments dimana gw ga berani ngomong sambil natap mata dia langsung atau dia yang (awalnya) ga berani gandeng tangan gw. Tapi selebihnya, kalo kalian ngeliat kami berdua waktu itu, mungkin kalian akan ngira kita udah pacaran bertaun2. Gw gak lebay. This is the truth. You really have to see it to believe it, hahay!

November 2009

It’s been more than a year after the Selendang Soetra concert. Taun ini PS Trimedika bikin konser lagi yang judulnya Symphony of Stories.

Untuk yang kedua kalinya Esther minta gw buat jadi MC konser. Ceritanya sama kaya taun lalu, MC aslinya mengundurkan diri. Hoho, kali ini gw udah jauh lebih pede, udah ada pengalaman taun sebelumnya gitu loh! Apalagi taun ini gw sehat walafiat. No bronchitis. Gak ada lagi batuk2 tiap 5 menit, suara serak, sama sesek nafas. Suara gw aman terkendali hehe.

But then beberapa hari sebelom konser, Esther bilang MC aslinya sign in lagi. Okee, no problem, yang penting gw bisa liat sahabat gw nyanyi. Doesn’t matter if I should watch her from backstage or from the audience seat.

Ternyata taun ini I could watch her sing right from the same stage. Gw diminta untuk jadi asisten pianisnya, bantu dia ngebolak balik partitur gitu. Sekali lagi, no problem, anything for my bestfriend

And the best thing is, taun ini, total stranger yang dulu nabrak gw diatas stage sekarang berdiri disamping gw. And I could proudly called him as my partner.

–

Sampe sekarang everything went well for us. I enjoyed every single moment with him. We discussed about everything, from serious matters to totally unimportant stuffs. We laughed at the same jokes. We read eachother’s minds. And we finished eachother’s unfinished sentences. It was great, really great.

I feel like he’s the one. Ya, mungkin semua orang yang lagi in love bakal ngomong hal yang sama kaya gw. Tapi gw memang sekarang mencari “pasangan hidup” instead of “pacar”. Inget umur soalnya. Udah bukan waktunya lagi pacaran yang tiap berapa bulan sekali putus.

Excuse “kita kan masih muda, boleh laah ‘icip2′ dulu, nanti juga pada akhirnya nemu yang sreg untuk pendamping hidup kita” gak pernah berlaku buat gw. Gak tau, it’s just not me. I’m not that kind of person.

I know it’s too soon to talk about the future. But the thing is, I can see mine with him. Doakan saja lah buat yang terbaik. Gimanapun Allah SWT yang berkuasa, gw dan si Smeagol disini cuman bisa berusaha buat ngejaga baik2 apa yang kita punya sekarang ini. Kalo jodoh ga bakal kemana kan?

–

For my Smeagol.. Kalo disuruh ngungkapin gimana perasaan saya ke kamu sekarang..

Well, kamu tau sendiri (dan udah liat sendiri) buku2 macem apa yang saya baca. Asli jauh dari yang namanya sastra atau  buku2 yang berbahasa njelimet binti susah dicerna.

You know I’m not blessed with the ability to write a beautiful poem with rhymed words or filled with metaphores.

But I know I’m blessed because I have you in my life right now. It’s fate. I do believe it.

Jadi, yang mau saya bilang sekarang simpel aja. And I believe you do know that it’s a promise from the heart.

I love you.

p.s. : thanks for the great 2009. cheers for 2010, hon! I have a feeling it’s gonna be an awesome year!

The Witch And The Smeagol (Part 3)

Agustus 2009

After the Battle of Giants concert, I had a fling with one of the rocker from the show. I don’t really want to talked about what happened, but somewhat I did a mistake by dating him. Gw dan dia beda keyakinan, dan nyokap gw gak setuju gw jalan sama dia dengan berbagai alasan.

Sekali lagi, gw gak mau ngomongin tentang detail apa yang terjadi. Let’s just say I was at the lowest point of my life at that moment. I had a constant fights with my Mom, I felt depressed most of the times, dan bingung ‘hubungan’ gw waktu itu gimana dan mau dibawa kemana. Because honestly, he’s not really the one that I’m looking for (which later I found out that it’s all just a fling).

Beruntung gw dikelilingi temen2 yang bisa diajak tukar pikiran, yang bisa bantu gw ngeliat hal2 dari berbagai perspektif. Satu yang kurang, perspektif yang gw dapet semuanya dari sisi perempuan. Gw butuh sisi satunya, perspektif dari sisi laki2.

Cuman 2 orang cowo yang gw percaya untuk meng-share masalah gw ini. Charlie dan seorang temen lagi, Adjie.

Ditengah2 ‘gloomy days’ gw yang waktu itu isinya cuman depresi dan bimbang, tiba2 Adi mulai ngehubungin gw lagi. Just doing a little chit chat day after day, mulai dari cuman sapa2an gak penting sampe saling bales2an jokes2 yang kalah gak penting, hehe.

But somehow, his jokes is one of the thing that could make me laugh. And believe me, by that time, finding things that could REALLY made me laugh was totally rare. So I do really enjoy talking with him.

Dan gak butuh waktu lama buat gw (yang masih membutuhkan perspektif pria tentang masalah gw) untuk ngasih dia kepercayaan (didukung sama rekomendasinya Charlie which said that he’s trustworthy) buat tukar pikiran tentang masalah gw waktu itu.

The Witch And The Smeagol (Part 2)

July 2009

One day, salah seorang “temen metal” gw, Rahma, ngajakin gw untuk jadi panitia acara konser perdananya Indonesia Rock Forum (IRF).

Sekali lagi, atas nama pertemanan dan nambah pengalaman, I said yes (hehe).

Gw mulai promosiin konser Battle of Giants itu ke temen2 gw, baik temen kampus, temen2 gw di Metallica Indonesia Forum, ataupun lewat Facebook, nawarin orang2 yang menurut feeling gw tertarik untuk nonton tribute konsernya Metallica, Mr Big, Dream Theater, Guns n’ Roses, sama Nirvana ini.

Salah satu temen gw yang gw ajak untuk dateng ke konser itu adalah Charlie.

Charlie itu salah satu dari 5 anggota choir Moestopo yang ikut ngebantu konser Selendang Soetra waktu itu. Dan dari 5 orang itu, cuman Charlie yang abis konser nge-add gw di Facebook, padahal selama persiapan konser itu kita sama sekali gapernah ngobrol. Tapi abis konser itu, gw sama dia lumayan sering chatting via YM, bercanda2 bahkan curhat2an. Nice guy. And I know he’s into rock music as much as me, so I asked him to come.

And he said he’ll come to watch the concert along with a friend of him. Hore.

Setelah hampir setaon, akhirnya gw ketemu lagi sama “online buddy” gw yang satu itu. And as promised, dia dateng bareng satu orang temen cowonya. My first impression was “Hmm, cute. Nice smile.”

*handshake* “Adi”

*handshake* “Lulu”

“Lo temennya Ajeng ya?”

“Iya”

“Ajeng dateng ga?”

“Tau nih, kemaren sih katanya mau dateng, tapi ampe sekarang belom ngabarin gw lagi”

“Wahh!! Paraahhh!!! Suruh dateng aahh!!!” *ngeluarin HP dan SMS si Ajeng*

Kita bertiga masuk venue, ngobrol2 dikit sambil nikmatin lagu2nya Nirvana. Gak lama, gw pamit ke mereka buat mondar mandir ngurusin konser (gw waktu itu jadi seksi acara). So I told them to enjoy the concert, and there I went, lari sana sini buat koordinasi sama MC, koordinasi sama band2 pengisi acara, koordinasi sama panitia laen, dll. Cuman sempet ngobrol lagi dikit sama mereka berdua pas break dan pas mereka pamit mau pulang selesai konser.

Malem setelah konsernya kelar, pas gw baru selesai briefing sama panitia IRF, tau2 HP gw bunyi. Unknown number called. Agak ragu2 juga buat ngangkat. I mean, who would call me on 1:30 AM in the morning? It must be a wrong number. Oke, angkat aja lah bentar.

“Halo?”

“Halo.. Lulu ya?”

“Iya”

“Woy ini Adi, temennya Charlie yang tadi”

“Oh, elo. Kenapa? Kenapa?”

“Eh, lo kaga bilang2 ya kalo tadi di konser tuh ada free first drink!”

“Lah, gw pikir elo udah tau.. Di tiketnya ada tulisannya kan..”

“Yee, tulisannya kecil bener! Mana tadi tempat konsernya gelap kan.. Mana gw liat!”

“Hahahaha, ya maap, mana gw tau!”

“Gw ama Charlie aus tau tadi nyari2in minuman”

“Sori soriii hahahahaha!”

“Pokonya ntar kalo ketemu lagi lo harus balikin setengah dari harga tiket tadi ya!”

*pede bener dah..kaya bakalan ketemu lagi aja* “Hahahaha jangan gitu laah.. Eh lo lagi dimana, Di? Masih ama Charlie?”

“Iye masih, lagi di kampus nih gw, nginep disini”

“Whaat?? Ngapain???”

“Ban motor gw bocor, hahahaha! Eh, Lu, inget ya Lu! Kalo ketemu lagi balikin duit gw!”

*mendadak jadi merasa bersalah gara2 gak ngasih tau tadi ada free first drink, padahal bukan salah gw juga gitu kalo malem ini dia jadi sial gak dapet free first drink sama ban motornya bocor ditengah jalan hihi..* “Hahahaha ampun Di, ampun.. Jangan gitu laahh..”

“Bodo! Hahahaha! Liat aja lo!”

Moments later, we said bye and hung up the phone.

–

Besoknya, pas gw lagi online, di Facebook ada orang yang gak gw kenal nge-add gw.

Haryo Adi Wibowo.

Nyaris gw decline, tapi untung pas liat fotonya gw inget kalo ini Adi temennya Charlie yang semalem. So I approved him.

Karena masih ada sisa rasa bersalah gara2 semalem, gw kirim wall ke dia “oy di, kemaren gmn akhirnya nasib lo?”

Replynya dia “Like u can see in my status..

Gw akhirnya nginep di kampus, trus krna itu ruangan anak2 pmk, pas gw bangun uda ada ank2 pmk gt.. Hiyaaa!

Finally gw cabut dr kampus jam 2 siang .. =D”

–

Beberapa waktu kemudian, dia nge-wall gw lagi

“Kapan dong lo ikut maen ke tempat Ajeng? Gw kangen nih sama sodara gw yang pendek itu.. hahaha”

Oh, okay. Dia sodaranya Ajeng rupanya.

–

Di kampus, pas gw lagi ngobrolin soal konser Battle of Giants itu sama Esther..

“Eh iya, temennya Charlie yang dateng ke konser itu ternyata sepupunya Ajeng dong!”

“Ohya? Sepupunya yang dateng pas konser padus dulu itu bukan?”

“Gatau deh gw.. Emang pas konser padus dulu sepupunya Ajeng ada yang dateng?”

“Adaaa, yang mesra banget sama dia ituuuu… Inget gak?? Ternyata itu sepupunya si Ajeng”

“Oooohhh iya2 inget gw.. Gatau deh yang itu apa bukan.. Kayanya sih iya, tapi gw ga yakin banget.”

Wait, berarti dia yang waktu itu nabrak gw dong?!

The Witch And The Smeagol (Part 1)

October 2008

Setiap tahun paduan suaranya FK Trisakti (Trimedika) pasti selalu ngadain konser. Temen baik gw, Esther, adalah salah satu anggota PS Trimedika.

Beberapa hari sebelom konser mereka tahun itu (Selendang Soetra), MCnya mendadak mengundurkan diri. And they have to find a new MC in such a short notice. Dan entah gimana, Esther nawarin gw untuk jadi MC di acara itu.

Gw? Wow.. pengalaman jadi MC aja nol besar. Ditambah lagi waktu itu gw lagi kena bronkitis. Gw batuk2 tiap 5 menit, suara gw serak, dan napas gw sesek.

But I’ll do it anyway. Atas nama persahabatan dan nambah pengalaman (haha).

Buat konser tahun itu juga, PS Trimedika kekurangan 5 orang cowo. Jadi mereka minta bantu tambahan personil dari PS Moestopo.

So, there it was. All problems solved. They got complete formation for the choir, also got two people to host their concert (yang jadi MC satu lagi kenalannya si Esther, namanya Bule).

Gw (kebaya putih, paling kanan) dan temen2 FK Trisakti after the show.

The concert went well. I enjoyed my first time an experience of being a host. Mungkin banyak orang yang bilang “MCnya jelek” atau apalah, but I truly don’t give a damn. I had a great time there!

Kelar konser, it’s picture time! Para pengisi acara, panitia, dan penonton (yang mayoritas anak2 FK Trisakti sama anak2 Moestopo) pada ngumpul2 di panggung, sibuk pose dan jepret sana sini.

Pas gw lagi asik ketawa ketiwi sama temen2 gw di panggung, tiba2 ada cowo yang gak gw kenal, saking hiperaktifnya, nabrak gw. Kenceng.

Dan abis nabrak, dia cuman ngomong “Eh, sori!” ke gw sambil lalu, terus langsung ngeloyor pergi buat foto sama temen2nya sebelom gw sempet buka mulut untuk ngedamprat.

Cowo berbaju putih yang berdiri paling kiri itu yang nabrak gw. Gila ya, badan segede gitu kaga kira2 nabrak orang kenceng banget. Ck.

Yang bikin gw heran, si cowo petakilan ini mesraaaa banget sama salah satu temen deket gw, Ajeng (banyak orang yang bilang gw sama Ajeng ini mirip. Malah kita pernah ngaku2 sodara kembar dan orang2 *anehnya* pada percaya. Entahlah). Ajeng sama si cowo ini peluk2an, pegang2an tangan, mesra parah deh pokonya.

Out of curiousity, gw nanya ke Esther

“Itu siapa sih? Kenal?”

“Gatau. Eh, tapi ganteng ya Lu?”

“Dia tadi nabrak gw. Bete!” *manyun*

Yah, terserah lah dia siapanya Ajeng. Don’t know, don’t care. Hari udah malem, mari kita pulang.

My Comeback Post! LOL!

Actually, I was planned to post this one on my 22th birthday (last November 25th). But because I’m not much of a poetry writer, so this one is kinda hard for me to finish.

But thanks for the inspiration I found from someone,  I finally could finished it tonight.

I know it’s crappy, but, hey, this one comes from the heart. So cut me some slack, alrite!

—

Dear God,

Thank you for who I am,

Thank you for everyone and everything that makes me who I am right now.

Thank you for the love you send me trough

My family,

My friends,

And my partner.

That makes me who I am right now.

Thank you for showing me that the love from your family is the greatest love of all.

You can simply turn to them anytime you need.

And they will always be there for you no matter what.

Thank you for showing me the people that I could proudly call as friends.

They are the ones who won’t stab you behind your back.

And have no problem of sharing your tears along with your joy.

Thank you for showing me that being a single fighter for years is worth the wait.

Because now I finally find someone whose willing to fight beside me.

And loving me just the way I am.

Dear God,

Thank you for my past.

Thank you for all the beautiful memories,

Even the painful ones.

They make me who I am right now.

Dear God,

Please bless me with the power of knowledge,

So I can learn to be a better one everyday.

Please bless me with the power of wisdom,

Keep the good close to me, and the bad away from me, in every path that i choose.

Please bless me with the power of patience,

To talk less and listen more.

Please bless me with the power of beauty,

For whats outside, and most importantly, the inside.

Please bless me with the power of courage,

So it would help me to be strong and brave, whatever your future holds for me.

Dear God,

Thank you for who I am.

Thank you for my life.